RULES THAT GUYS WISHED GIRLS KNEW

While I usually try to avoid sharing things that might cause divisions and more importantly get me in trouble. But after careful consideration, I thought I might step out on the edge with the following list and see if anyone is reading. Just remember that guys and girls often see things differently. The following list is to help in our communication and bring people closer together. In all fairness, if anyone has a list of "Rules That Girls Wish Guys Knew" (or if you feel compelled to write one, please feel free to send it to me (bigdmiller@juno.com). Have a great day.

His... Daryl Miller

• If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

• Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.

• Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

• If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

• Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

• Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

• Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.

• When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

• Really. You have enough clothes.

• You have too many shoes.

• Crying is blackmail.

• Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!

• No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

• Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

• Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

• Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

• Check your oil.

• It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

• Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

• If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

• You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done--not both.

• Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

• Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

• The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

• ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

• If it's OUR house, I don't understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet / attic / basement.

• We're not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

• If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

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