BUMPER STICKERS

Below is a list of sayings from "bumper stickers". While I've can actually say I have seen many of them, I can’t say I've seen them all. Some are from lists I have had sent to me.  Some of them may make you think, some may make grab for the dictionary (I'll admit, I did on a couple), and most will hopefully make you smile. The list below is the first 99 of the list I have. At the bottom of the list is the link to the remaining 99. God bless and happy day.

His…Daryl Miller

BUMPERSTICKERS

1.       I love animals, they taste great.

2.       EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets later.

3.       Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

4.       The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

5.       Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

6.       He who laughs last thinks slowest!

7.       Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

8.       A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

9.       Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

10.    Don't tailgate me or I'll flick a booger on your windshield

11.   I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

12.   Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

13.   I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

14.   Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

15.   Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

16.   Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

17.   I'm busy. You're Ugly. Have a nice day.

18.   All generalizations are false, including this one.

19.   "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

20.   I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

21.   We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

22.   Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

23.   What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

24.   Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

25.   I got this car for my husband. Best deal I ever made.

26.   If you are psychic - think "HONK"

27.   If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

28.   You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

29.   You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!

30.   Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

31.   My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

32.   All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

33.   Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

34.   So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

35.   All men are idiots....I married their king.

36.   Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

37.   I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

38.   It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

39.   It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

40.   Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

41.   Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.

42.   Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

43.   As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

44.   Eschew obfuscation.

45.   Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.

46.   Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

47.   Air Pollution is a mist-demeaner.

48.   Editing is a rewording activity.

49.   Make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen

50.   Allow me to introduce my selves

51.   Better living through denial

52.   Earth is full, go home.

53.   Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done

54.   Too many freaks not enough circuses

55.   Ambivalent? Well yes and no....

56.   Does your train of thought have a caboose?

57.   Is it time for your medication or mine?

58.   I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck

59.   How do I set the laser printer to stun?

60.   I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert....

61.   Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

62.   Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

63.   I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

64.   And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be ... ?

65.   Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

66.   Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."

67.   Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

68.   Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

69.   Adults are just kids who owe money.

70.   Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

71.   I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

72.   Honk if anything falls off.

73.  Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

74.   I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?

75.   A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

76.   If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

77.   Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply

78.   I'm just driving this way to get you mad.

79.   Keep honking, I'm reloading.

80.   Hang up and drive.

81.   If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

82.   A closed mouth gathers no feet.

83.   A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

84.   A penny saved is ridiculous.

85.   All that glitters has a high refractive index.

86.   INSTANT HUMAN. Just add coffee

87.   Anarchy is better than no government at all.

88.   Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.

89.   Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

90.   Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.

91.   Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

92.   Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

93.   We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

94.  If can read this I've lost my trailer.

95.  Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

96.  You! Off my planet!

97.  Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

98.   I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up...

99.   It works better if you plug it in.

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